Tag Archives: contemplations

Contemplation

Contemplation | On cheating

Now more than ever it is harder to stick in a monogamous relationship, yes I said it. Especially if you’re a man with a high mate value. But not all hopes are lost.

There are couples who are at par in terms of mate value in the beginning of the relationship but women’s mate value wanes a lot sooner than men and a competent man enjoys an increase in mate value as time goes by.

A weak man with a high mate value will find it next to impossible to stick in a relationship or remain faithful. A strong man understands the situation and doesn’t fall prey to this romantic hedonistic treadmill.

Weak men focus on pleasure seeking, the hottest chic on social media, they’re so insecure that for them the physical appearance of their partner is the ultimate determinant of their social status among their peers.

Strong men focus on lineage, legacy and integrity. They know what they want and the attraction towards other women is ephemeral and a challenge against their integrity and self respect.

Strong men value loyalty and provide loyalty in return. Great men don’t cheat.

If you’re a woman, be careful not to settle for a man with a lesser mate value relative to yours for it is not a guarantee of a strong moral character. Just because he’s ugly doesn’t mean he’ll be faithful. Ugly men with high mate value partners will develop a diluted ego especially if they have the monetary means to act on it.

Slowly but surely the world is feeling the full swing negative effect of the accessibility brought by technology and social media and dating apps in particular.

Life is a two edged blade, it’s inevitable. Even good times create weak men.

Our capability to see and communicate with each other beyond our physical environment never existed in nature. Unconsciously because of our new found power, we were exposed to the unlimited number of potential mates regardless if they’re with our league or not. What makes it worse is when we see someone we find inferior to us in terms of mate value getting lucky and with someone we consider to be out of our league.

Labels like boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife are man made ideas. Labels will never prevent anyone from admiring and desiring someone from the opposite sex.

Law of diminishing marginal utility

Attraction wanes overtime but it can be rekindled.

Pro tip: If you notice that the fire is out in your relationship, create an artificial scarcity. Create an agreement with your partner to work on yourselves to be physically desirable again.

If you’re in your 50s and beyond, if you have a partner and you’re attracted to other people outside your relationship, remember that you’re gonna die soon and to focus on sexual desires will be a waste of time and will prove to the world that you’re a dumb fuck.

It’ll be more honorable to leave a relationship after doing everything you can to salvage it before starting a new one with someone else than to cheat your way to satisfy your physical needs.

There’s nothing wrong with having more than one partner, polyamorous relationships exist.

Problems arise when a weak person pretends to be monogamous to get the other person he/she is attracted to,just to cheat around when the law of diminishing marginal utility takes effect. Worst is when people don’t know what they want and use other people for their trial and error.

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Contemplation

Why I gave up the vanlife

Is it freedom or necessity?

I can’t recall when I started searching for van life-related stuff before I began being flooded by ads on my social media feed but here we are, back where we started.

The idea of van life came about after a few years of living and working in remote places here in Canada.

Why rent a place just to store your stuff? They don’t fit in your car? Give them away or sell those you no longer need or get a storage unit instead.

Both of which, I did.

Sold some of my stuff I no longer use and don’t know when I would use them and the rest goes in the storage and the summer stuff (except the snowboard boots ) in my car.

The whole idea behind van life is the adventure, mobility and the economic aspect of it.

Are you trying to save or is that all you can afford?

Unless you make your living online or you’re young and you want to try it out for a few weeks or months or you got a job that offers free accommodations, then this life is for you, otherwise, it’ll be a short lived love affair just like mine.

The planning stage

Before I started removing the backseat of my CRV and converting it to a hospitable vehicle I thought of the obvious challenges I would face along the way.

Where would I shower?

The solution I came up with is by signing up for a gym membership that’s 24/7 and in many locations. So I would workout in the morning or night then shower afterwards.

Problem solved.

Is it not more expensive than renting?

The average cost for a room in Alberta is around $500/month, if I could park outside the gym or outside Walmart, I could allocate that money for the storage rent for my winter stuff, for my gas and occasional campsite cost.

Problem solved.

I did this experiment while waiting for deployment. I worked as a helicopter refueler during the 2023 Alberta wildfire season. Vehicles and accommodations are provided, free parking for personal vehicles are available during deployment.

The honeymoon stage

FREEDOM!

I can go wherever and whenever.

Some cool life stories to look back on when I’m old.

Instant creds among your peers.

Cool pictures and videos for the gram.

Is it worth it?

Reality check

The cost of isolation.

Society promotes personal independence, that this should be the goal of everyone who wants to succeed in the modern world.

As always, this advice is half baked.

To be independent is good but what I realized and maybe the best thing I got out of this experience is that; the ultimate goal is to have an independent tribe.

A group of people you selected that you can connect to on emotional and psychological level, you can rely on, whom you can speak your language with, and most importantly people you can trust.

human beings need three basic things in order to be content: they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others. These values are considered "intrinsic" to human happiness and far outweigh "extrinsic" values such as beauty, money and status.
Tribe | Sebastian Yunger

I tried not to cry after reading this and confirming my discovery/theory has merit. At the end of the day, we are social creatures. The modern world will keep on providing us what we ask from it regardless if it’s in accordance with our nature or not.

Soft drinks can give you dopamine, exercise can give you endorphins, and psilocybin can give you serotonin, but oxytocin the love hormone is kinda elusive and hard to get.

This is the hormone responsible for the good feeling we get from hugs or when we’re surrounded by people we love, responsible for the joy when we meet people we can connect to and the first to deplete when we’re alone or in isolation.

The importance of having a physical base and much more of a social base cannot be overstated. We can wander for thousands of miles with no problem as long as we know that our base is waiting for us whenever we decide to. We can undertake solitary pursuit even for a long period of time, as long as we know that our tribe is waiting for us whenever we decide to return.

The epidemic of depression in the modern world is the price we pay for the convenience we enjoy individually. The further away we detach from our nature the more problems we would face individually and as a race.

Ignore this rule at your own peril.

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Contemplation

THE TRUE LEISURE IN LIFE

When you talk about leisure to anyone, the first things that would come in their mind would probably lying on the the beach while listening to the waves and getting their tan lines under the bright clear day with some piña colada on the side. Or traveling the globe and seeing different countries and continents and the exotic places one can only dream of. Or a staycation in a luxury hotel or resort.

Those are just some of the many definition we can derive from leisure and what’s in common to all those is that they all require a good sum of money in order for those leisure to materialize. Sources that provide ephemeral satisfaction, funded by compensation you get from labor and trade of your precious time.

All these would fall short to be considered as leisure in a stoic standard.

“Of all people only those are at leisure who make time for philosophy, only they truly live. Not satisfied to merely keep good watch over their own days, they annex every age to their own. All the harvest of the past is added to their store. ”

Seneca

Contemplation is how you make time for philosophy. Ledgering your life through reflection on your decisions that lead you to where you are at present. This practice doesn’t require special place or ambiance and time and most importantly, doesn’t cost you anything in order to do it, however, requires an unbiased view of previous events and the openness to accept shortcomings or faults as they unfold.

Only through an honest evaluation of one’s life can anyone find true wisdom that would enable them to make better decisions in the future in a way making them a better person.

It is inevitable that life will be not just very short but very miserable for those who acquire by great toil what they must keep by greater toil. They achieve what they want laboriously; they possess what they have achieved anxiously.

Seneca

The more time you make for philosophy the better you become. The objective eye that sees events as they are and unvarnished by emotions and personal interest requires time and consistency to acquire and can only develop through test. Hardship gives everyone the opportunity to test wisdom and resilience that they developed through philosophy. Knowing wisdom is not wisdom, only through action can anyone showcase their wisdom.

Anyone who preaches wisdom but unable to put their words to action are no better than a hypocrite. Although it doesn’t cost anything to contemplate, acquiring wisdom can be painful. To confront one’s belief towards the betterment of one’s life and the people around him. To challenge the validity of the status quo and live contrary to the existing culture granted that that culture is inconsistent and does not promote wisdom.

Life spent on any other leisure than the pursuit of wisdom is time wasted on earth. His existence does not count for living, for his time only benefited himself in striving to fill his insatiable appetite for pleasure and does not help improve the world around him.

Anyone who has the desire to make the world around him better would have to strive to be better. Time spent on philosophy is time well spent, and only through philosophy will anyone know how to live.

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